From: scram@landmarknet.net (Scott Cramer)
Keywords: funny, sexist, heard it, forwarded
Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny
Date: Mon, 11 Sep 2000 19:30:00 PDT

I was riding to work yesterday when I observed a female driver cut right in
front of a pickup truck, causing him to have to drive on the shoulder.
This evidently pissed the driver off enough that he hung out his window and
flipped the woman off.  "Man, that guy is stupid" I thought to myself.  I
ALWAYS smile nicely and wave in a sheepish manner whenever a female does
anything to me in traffic and here's why.

I drive 38 miles each way, every day, to work.  That's 76 miles, of
these, 16  each way is bumper-to-bumper.  Most of the bumper-to-bumper
is on an 8 lane  highway.  So, if you just look at the 7 lanes I am not
in, that means I pass something like a new car every 40 feet per lane.
That's 7 cars every 40  feet for 32 miles.  That works out to be 982
cars every mile, or 31,424 cars. Even though the rest of the 34 miles
is not bumper-to-bumper.  I figure I pass at least another 4000 cars.
That brings the number to something like 36,000 cars I pass every day.
Statistically half of these are driven by females, that's 18,000.  In any
given group of females, 1 in 28 are having the worst day of their period.
That is 642.

According to Cosmopolitan, 70% describe their love life as dissatisfying or
unrewarding, that's 449.  According to the National Institutes of Health,
22%  of all females have seriously considered suicide or homicide, that's
98.  And, 34% describe men as their biggest problem, that's 33.
According to the National Rifle Association, 5% of all females carry
weapons,  and the number is increasing.

That means, that EVERY SINGLE DAY, I drive past at least one female that has
a lousy love life, thinks men are her biggest problem, has seriously
considered suicide or homicide, is having the worst day of her period, and
is armed.

No matter what she does in traffic, I wouldn't DREAM of flipping her off.

[Note - making the rounds unattributed - ed.]